10 Scary Thoughts of Some Malaysian Drivers
I drive quite a bit on Malaysian roads – the course of my work takes me the length and breadth of the country, and over the years I have observed Malaysian drivers closely. The way many of them drive around is quite alarming, and I have come to the conclusion that the way they think is what influences them to drive the way they do:-
1) I am in a great hurry, so I will just overtake this guy in front of me using the emergency lane. After all, a good driver should look in his or her wing mirrors all the time, so he should see me coming and not move over to block me. If he does, I will get down and wallop him!
2) What does this guy behind me think he is doing? Here I am, observing the speed limit, and he is flashing me with his headlights. Can’t he wait? Can’t he see I am also overtaking another car? Why can’t he wait? Doesn’t he know the speed limit is 110, and I am doing just that overtaking this guy who is doing 109? Idiot!
3) Here comes another idiot who thinks he owns the road. I am going to stay in the fast lane, and wait till he gets right up my ass before I pull over. That will slow him down a bit! What nerve he has, going so fast! If I don’t move over, you ain’t going to pass man!
4) Here comes another! I am going at 110, which is the sped limit. I am also going fast what! If he wants to pass, he can pass on my left what! There is so much space there. Stop horning at me you idiot! Maybe I should brake, just to scare him. Hmmm, maybe this is a good time to wash my windscreen – let him get water spray all over his windscreen!
5) Oops – the traffic light just went amber – speed up!
6) Stop flashing at me lah! Can’t you see I am overtaking this car on my left? Yes, I am doing it slowly, because someone told me hard acceleration uses up more fuel, so you will just have to wait for me to finish passing this guy before I move over for you. Just because you are so rude, I will let you wait longer!
7) What does he think he is doing! Trying to muscle in on me eh! Hallo, we are in a jam. No way am I letting you in!
8) I signalled what!
9) Wah, I can’t overtake the truck in front – I better stick close to it so no one else can overtake me.
10) First gear, 10 km/h, second gear 20 km/h, third gear 30 km/h, 4th gear 40 km/h………
