Volvo image

Found this article at blinman.com......guess he doesn't like Volvo!

Imagine a land where for 200 days of the year it’s dark, or snowing, or
both. The citizens of this land regularly vote for government regulation
of everything up to and including bedtime. A beer costs more than the
fridge to put it in. The national sport is suicide.

This last activity is equally popular with the elk which inhabit the
interminable pine forests that cover most of the country. The creatures
have just enough intelligence to chew cud without falling over, which may
explain their habit of running into the road when they hear something
alarming – like a car engine.

These cultural, meteorological and zoological factors leave their mark on
the motor vehicles produced in this icy gehenna. Solid metal boxes: heavy
on the headlights and the crumple zones. Life preservation is top of the
agenda. Life affirmation isn’t even on it. Ladies and gentlemen, this is
all you need to know about the Swedes and their automobiles.

A tractor is compromised as a road vehicle because it must be designed
to pull a plough across a field (and to spread cack evenly across the
road when the yokel at the wheel returns homeward from said field.) I
contend that a Volvo is likewise compromised because it must be designed
to broadside unforeseen large ruminants without inconveniencing the
occupants. If this contingency arises frequently while motoring in the
UK, your driving style may need revision.

My quarrel, therefore, is with those who persist in dragging these highly
specialised vehicles out of their natural habitat and into what was
formerly the fast lane. But before I brand all UK based Volvo drivers as
myopic self righteous freedom hating bedwetting upper middle class thugs,
it is only fair to define the exceptions.

Very Old Volvos: Volvos are terrible to drive, but so is any other £500
motor and Volvos are at least solid. If you’ve bought an ancient Swedish
tank for beer money so you can rag the crap out of the thing without it
breaking, then you’re OK by me.

Antiques Dealers: You need to move furniture and your customers are
snobs, so you can’t roll up in a Transit. I don’t like you, but I can see
why you need a Volvo. The fine balance between crispness of turn-in and
efficiency of high frequency damping, which a discerning driver might
appreciate in a well tuned chassis is unlikely to be of importance when
you’ve got two hundredweight of Thos. Chippendale’s finest sliding across
the boot halfway round a tight bend.

So why do I hate the things? Consider the styling: If your 5 year old’s
drawing of a car looked anything like a Volvo 760, you’d have the kid
checked for brain damage.

Consider the engineering: After the styling, it’s actually manages to be
a letdown. The heroically misnamed Volvo 960 “Classic” was offered for
sale, with a straight face, as late as 1998. The back wheels of a 960 are
what might charitably be described as connected to the rest of the
vehicle via industrial revolution era cart springs. There are ice-cream
van owners who would find this technology embarrassing.

So why do I hate Volvo owners? Because they know damn well that if they
if they ram you in your proper car, they’ll live and you’ll die. How
would you act at work if you nicked a carload of office supplies, seduced
the boss’s teenaged daughter and committed nine counts of aggravated
fiduciary misconduct and someone else got fired for it? Now imagine how
Volvo owners drive.

Forget their behaviour. These people are loathsome in their very
attitudes. Safety is a moral imperative, not an objective to be balanced
against others, such as getting somewhere to do something or, God forbid,
actual pleasure. “I am providing a public service by occupying the
outside lane at exactly 69 mph because it stops other people being
unsafe. I’m going to Heaven, the people chewing their arms off in
frustration or carving past me on the hard shoulder are going to Hell.”

Thy tint Ñ#Found this article at blinman.com......guess he doesn't like Volvo!

Imagine a land where for 200 days of the year it’s dark, or snowing, or
both. The citizens of this land regularly vote for government regulation
of everything up to and including bedtime. A beer costs more than the
fridge to put it in. The national sport is suicide.

This last activity is equally popular with the elk which inhabit the
interminable pine forests that cover most of the country. The creatures
have just enough intelligence to chew cud without falling over, which may
explain their habit of running into the road when they hear something
alarming – like a car engine.

These cultural, meteorological and zoological factors leave their mark on
the motor vehicles produced in this icy gehenna. Solid metal boxes: heavy
on the headlights and the crumple zones. Life preservation is top of the
agenda. Life affirmation isn’t even on it. Ladies and gentlemen, this is
all you need to know about the Swedes and their automobiles.

A tractor is compromised as a road vehicle because it must be designed
to pull a plough across a field (and to spread cack evenly across the
road when the yokel at the wheel returns homeward from said field.) I
contend that a Volvo is likewise compromised because it must be designed
to broadside unforeseen large ruminants without inconveniencing the
occupants. If this contingency arises frequently while motoring in the
UK, your driving style may need revision.

My quarrel, therefore, is with those who persist in dragging these highly
specialised vehicles out of their natural habitat and into what was
formerly the fast lane. But before I brand all UK based Volvo drivers as
myopic self righteous freedom hating bedwetting upper middle class thugs,
it is only fair to define the exceptions.

Very Old Volvos: Volvos are terrible to drive, but so is any other £500
motor and Volvos are at least solid. If you’ve bought an ancient Swedish
tank for beer money so you can rag the crap out of the thing without it
breaking, then you’re OK by me.

Antiques Dealers: You need to move furniture and your customers are
snobs, so you can’t roll up in a Transit. I don’t like you, but I can see
why you need a Volvo. The fine balance between crispness of turn-in and
efficiency of high frequency damping, which a discerning driver might
appreciate in a well tuned chassis is unlikely to be of importance when
you’ve got two hundredweight of Thos. Chippendale’s finest sliding across
the boot halfway round a tight bend.

So why do I hate the things? Consider the styling: If your 5 year old’s
drawing of a car looked anything like a Volvo 760, you’d have the kid
checked for brain damage.

Consider the engineering: After the styling, it’s actually manages to be
a letdown. The heroically misnamed Volvo 960 “Classic” was offered for
sale, with a straight face, as late as 1998. The back wheels of a 960 are
what might charitably be described as connected to the rest of the
vehicle via industrial revolution era cart springs. There are ice-cream
van owners who would find this technology embarrassing.

So why do I hate Volvo owners? Because they know damn well that if they
if they ram you in your proper car, they’ll live and you’ll die. How
would you act at work if you nicked a carload of office supplies, seduced
the boss’s teenaged daughter and committed nine counts of aggravated
fiduciary misconduct and someone else got fired for it? Now imagine how
Volvo owners drive.

Forget their behaviour. These people are loathsome in their very
attitudes. Safety is a moral imperative, not an objective to be balanced
against others, such as getting somewhere to do something or, God forbid,
actual pleasure. “I am providing a public service by occupying the
outside lane at exactly 69 mph because it stops other people being
unsafe. I’m going to Heaven, the people chewing their arms off in
frustration or carving past me on the hard shoulder are going to Hell.”

Thy tint Ñ#Found this article at blinman.com......guess he doesn't like Volvo!

Imagine a land where for 200 days of the year it’s dark, or snowing, or
both. The citizens of this land regularly vote for government regulation
of everything up to and including bedtime. A beer costs more than the
fridge to put it in. The national sport is suicide.

This last activity is equally popular with the elk which inhabit the
interminable pine forests that cover most of the country. The creatures
have just enough intelligence to chew cud without falling over, which may
explain their habit of running into the road when they hear something
alarming – like a car engine.

These cultural, meteorological and zoological factors leave their mark on
the motor vehicles produced in this icy gehenna. Solid metal boxes: heavy
on the headlights and the crumple zones. Life preservation is top of the
agenda. Life affirmation isn’

HAHAHA!

Hi, Kaminski! This is a really SUPERB-writing. I am going to print this,
and FRAME it on my office-wall. A REALLY good one!

Remember the famous English proverb:- "If you know where you are going, it
doesn't matter how hard you are laughed at!" A friend added, "Weh, join
and laugh with them lah!"

HAHAHA!

kaminski,

Nice 1, :) kakakakakkakakaakakkakakakaakakakakkakakakaakakakakakka

Glad im driving 1 now.

Fly now.

I bought my 240 1983 model in 1990. Still going strong.......hope can last
another 10 years....

Cheers, leosmy.

why bother about resale value? Anyway Volvos are for life.

When I bought mine, i thought of giving it a 3-5 year window. Now that
I've met so many satisfied and hard-core, die-for-life (and VOLVO-for-
life) fans and understand why, I tend to agree.

But to be fair, I've never spent so much time learning about the cars
previously than now.

Haiyoo,... ampangbear, dah punya bini 2 ke ... Tak kenal maka Tak Sayang.

leosmy, it will definitely last. Just look at KVK Club members car

Ciao

Bro Vol940,

Bini DUA? DUA...???

*sigh*

Yang SATU nih pun, kadang-kadang nak SETENGAH je...

Hahahha...